Airports and Underpants

Before my last series of flights the only thing that Airports and underpants had in common is that going to the airport acted as a memory trigger for my jocks along with my passport . The most important items required for any overseas travel. Which incidentally in my case are stored in the exact same place.

I think an airport reflects entirely the characteristics of the people from the city in which it is located. Likewise underpants can reflect those same qualities. Auckland for example is pretty relaxed and slow paced until you try to sneak in food in or a dirty pair of shoes. Hong Kong is clean sleek and incredibly efficient, and does not really have a customs as such. Indeed I was with baggage and though customs in about 15 minutes from leaving the plane which is quicker than most domestic airports in NZ. NZ, whilst laid back is by no means that inefficient, just a little paranoid of more dirty bugs,bacteria and criminals from Australia sneaking in. Paranoid is one word which would describe LAX. Except its not just of your fruit and veg, they are paranoid of everyone and everything, except their own people of course, who when considering the fact can vote in a president with an IQ of 8, twice, with nuclear weapons at his disposal are significantly more dangerous than anyone else in the world. Hethrow airport reeks of laziness, is overstaffed and is remarkably inefficient with 1 of every 10 staff members working at any one time, while the other 9 have a coffee break. Dusseldorf in Germany is relatively efficient but is always a little suspicious of why unearth you would actually want to come to Germany, which having lived there is fair enough I guess.

Indeed if airports around the world where pairs of underpants they would be something like this; Auckland, comfy pair of boxer shorts but not providing enough support to smuggle bananas with. Hong Kong would be, if they existed, a triple pouched latex sports brief, extremely efficient and able to perform well in the most testing of circumstances. LAX a old pair of Y fronts in the back corner of your draw that are two sizes too small. Whist wearing them you have difficulty breathing and they give the impression that you are incredibly tight arsed. Hethrow, cannonball, fine for sleeping and doing nothing in but as soon as you move uncomfortable and irritating. Dusseldorf, white sports jocks with big brown stain at the back get the job done but people are a bit surprised that you haven't thrown them out.